Alright, don't like don't read

[flyingskull]

I know every sporker in every comm in every blog server in the netverse keeps on harping how it's a lame excuse, but this is MY playground and I can piss in it as much as I like so, if you don't want DH spoilers...



DADDY DEAREST

An epistulary dramalet.


epistle, n

1. A communication made to an absent person in writing; a letter. Chiefly (from its use in translations from L. and Gr.) applied to letters written in ancient times, esp. to those which rank as literary productions, or (after the analogy of 2) to those of a public character, or addressed to a body of persons. In application to ordinary (modern) letters now used only rhetorically or with playful or sarcastic implication. (O.E.D.)

Father,

take me out of this horrible place! I was hexed with what the uncouth Potter boy with the double-barrelled improbable name called the Bat Bogey hex. Apparently his mother taught him.

It's the most disgustingly vomit-worthy thing I have ever had the misfortune to see, let alone being hit with.

The reason? I was just passing by him in the hall. He informed me that I had no right to pass him by in the hall as I am a filthy Slytherin. Which is why he hexed me. Out of the blue. I hadn't even seen him there.

No-one did or said anything. He's the Chosen One's child and has a License to Hex. I will NOT stay in this place a moment longer. Take me out and tutor me privately or suffer the consequences of my running away, a lone, defenceless boy forced to merlin-knows-what to survive.

Love,

Scorpius.

*

Scorpius,

you are being melodramatic. Melodramatic is not elegant, or witty, or anything but pathetic.

That said, I know exactly how you feel. Pack your things and please forgive me for sending you to that Pit of Gryffindor Entitlement. I'll be there to take you home tomorrow at nine ack emma.

You shall have tutors galore and all the respect you've a right to.

With all my love,

Draco Malfoy

Finis






I really felt like writing this. So sue me. :P :P :P

Comments

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

*snork*

I'm coming to the opinion that Rowling simply got fucking tired of writing these books after GOF. OoTP took forever, apparently (I didn't bother to read them until after it had come out, and even I knew that much), and HBP was clumsy as hell. I read it once. Never picked it up again. My brain simply refused to process it.

DH was worse. So much worse. Which is why I am going back to my Snape/Hermione fanfic, and ignoring it thusly, because fucking hell.

(And couldn't Draco had found a different constellation to name the kid after? Scorpius, I ask you....)

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Oh I agree La Rowling got tired of writing HP, it's even possible she paid ghosts to write the last three booksm the style is so fucking different. Or she trolled the net and grabbed pieces of fanfiction here and there, or - and this is the most probable - she had no Gran Plan, she made it up as she got along and lost momentum and ideas after GOF.

I also think she never wanted to be a writer, exactly, she wanted a job with no fixed hours and no heavy lifting, so to speak, but had never the passion for writing other authors have.

Be that as it may, this is the last book, HALLELUJA! so we can keep reading good authors in peace. Fanfic was always better than canon in this instance.

Draco called the sprog Scorpius because he was born under the sign of the Scorpion, and he called the poor child Scorpius because, like La Rowling, he's pants at Latin. Should have been Scorpio.

BTW username love (I used to be a Gambit fan, before Marvel got confused, boring and stupid) and ICON LOVE!

Thank you for the comment, much appreciated.

[ingriam.livejournal.com]

I prefer Marvel, too; but I was always more into the cartoons and movies. I could never get into the comics.

Scorpio Malfoy would have actually sounded fairly cool; no wonder she didn't use it. *snicker*

Still looking forward to those verbose reviews; but enjoy Potterdammerung, it sounds vicariously - schadenfreude-ily - amusing.

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Well to get into the comics one has to be A) rather old by now or B) be the offspring of a collector (me, I'm B) because in the 60s and 70s they ROCKED HARDCORE DUDE!

Scorpio Malfoy is a kickass name, but if she believes put a us on it makes it pathetic I have only two words to say to her: Albus Severus. HA!

Potterdammerung never actually was, but I had lots of laughs, managd to get banned from F_W because I kept telling them they were no better than batshit insane fans and can now turn back to intelligent and lovely fanfics and OGs and books with a sense of deep accomplishment. :-D

Am at work now and fearing impeding crisis in Italy (temperature +47 celsius) OHGODDONTMAKEMEGOTHERE! So tonight is Review!Time. Fear me, o long-haired juicy writer! Thy end is near! :P :P

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

GAH, fear of heat is making me type insane

*but if she believes put a us on it makes it pathetic = but, if she believes putting a 'us' at the end of it is enough to make it pathetic,

[ingriam.livejournal.com]

Well, at least 'Scorpio' wouldn't make him sound like he was named after a giant space-bug from Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. XD

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

That too.

Methinks La Diva Rowling realised Scorpio Malfoy was a real kickass name, too cool for words etc. and toned it down to incoherency and stupidity. :-D

[ingriam.livejournal.com]

I'm sooo looking forward to that. *licks lips*

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

I dunno; I think OoTP is right where she began teetering, because I can still enjoy that one, but HBP? Is like nails on a chalkboard. If she had any Grand Plan, it was definitely losing steam at that point.

Yes; the passion is what was missing in these last two. Not that I ever considered her a grand writer by any means, but the first four were at least enjoyable romps with very little substance, and no reason to complain if one took them at face value. If you expect more, then you hit problems, but as a silly story, it was fine. Then, fanfic takes on from there.

Heh. My username is from my fanfic, but yes; total Gambit love. I pretty much ignore everything after UXM 350, because WTF BASTICH. Though I still read X-Men off and on and stamp around screaming at his lack of balls, I just ignore canon after 350. It keeps me sane.

Icon is Atsushi Sakurai from Buck-Tick. J-Rock band. Such love.

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Agree with you on JKR.

I stopped before that, though I had to read Remy's Luke moment. I rather barfed, but it was amusing. WFT is an euphemism, right? The best part about Marvelverse is that one can chosse as canon whatever what one feels like choosing. 'S not the fen's fault that Marvel can't stick to a story to save their collective film-crazed life. ;)

I stopped after the Sun/Son arc and Gambit's own comic. They had the chance to kill my baby off TWICE in two incredibly lovely emotionally charged tragey arcs and they wussed off and for what? To make him the basterd son of Lestat on a bad hair day? To make him a pathetic little minion? UGH! GAH.

If you want, I have an incredible short written by a friend of mine - now, unfortunately not of this world anymore - about Gambit's last choice in the Sun/Son arc. I can send it to you, as I think, the site my friends' stories were on has been erased.

Oops

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Right pathetic spelling and typos.

*tragedy arcs

*send it to you as I think the site (why abuse that poor comma? Sloppy, Flyingskull, sloppy!)

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

(WTF=What The F*ck)

I stopped after the Sun/Son arc and Gambit's own comic. They had the chance to kill my baby off TWICE in two incredibly lovely emotionally charged tragey arcs and they wussed off and for what? To make him the basterd son of Lestat on a bad hair day? To make him a pathetic little minion? UGH! GAH.

NoNO! The worst was in X-Treme. He was on his way, and Rogue acts as if it's an act of cowardice to not fight to live. She PULLS HIM BACK, and gave him no choice in the matter -- which is mentioned once, and never commented on again -- and then says she's in the right, 'cuz damn it, she's Rogue, and she's not a giant hypocrite or anything.

The current Death line? Oh, Christ. He turned into a Drow with bad gas. I guess he was given his old look back just recently when he was with the Marauders, attacking Rogue's X-Men, but Arrggh. So. Stupid.

And yes. I heart good Gambit fic. I also ridiculously heart Gambit fic that isn't Romy (Gambit + Rogue), or Gambit + Wolverine. Actually have a soft spot for mature Jubilee + Gambit, but that's impossible to find.

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

That's the other incredibly wonderful tragedy arc Marvel ruined that I was talking about and you're right, that was the WORST thing ever. Also Rogue was never my cup of tea, but in that story arc she made me want to puke all the time. Dammit, Remy should have died when he brought the whole shebang down after having patiently charged the pebble under extreme duress. That's what i all heroic, not Rogue's drama queen entrance and "I'll die with you! No! I will drag you back from well earned peace and quiet because I have a GIANT guilt complex about having doe my level best to kill you!" GAH.

Well, this friend of mine was one of a couple of gays and they tended to write Remy/Logan. But I have two that are G and Gmabit-centric, if you're interested.

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

Well, this friend of mine was one of a couple of gays and they tended to write Remy/Logan. But I have two that are G and Gmabit-centric, if you're interested.

Any Bobby + Gambit? I definitely slash them. Or Gambit + Courier. I'm just so sick of the Remy + Logan dynamic. It's like Romy; it's everywhere.

But I'll take those two fics! :D