Alright, don't like don't read

[flyingskull]

I know every sporker in every comm in every blog server in the netverse keeps on harping how it's a lame excuse, but this is MY playground and I can piss in it as much as I like so, if you don't want DH spoilers...



DADDY DEAREST

An epistulary dramalet.


epistle, n

1. A communication made to an absent person in writing; a letter. Chiefly (from its use in translations from L. and Gr.) applied to letters written in ancient times, esp. to those which rank as literary productions, or (after the analogy of 2) to those of a public character, or addressed to a body of persons. In application to ordinary (modern) letters now used only rhetorically or with playful or sarcastic implication. (O.E.D.)

Father,

take me out of this horrible place! I was hexed with what the uncouth Potter boy with the double-barrelled improbable name called the Bat Bogey hex. Apparently his mother taught him.

It's the most disgustingly vomit-worthy thing I have ever had the misfortune to see, let alone being hit with.

The reason? I was just passing by him in the hall. He informed me that I had no right to pass him by in the hall as I am a filthy Slytherin. Which is why he hexed me. Out of the blue. I hadn't even seen him there.

No-one did or said anything. He's the Chosen One's child and has a License to Hex. I will NOT stay in this place a moment longer. Take me out and tutor me privately or suffer the consequences of my running away, a lone, defenceless boy forced to merlin-knows-what to survive.

Love,

Scorpius.

*

Scorpius,

you are being melodramatic. Melodramatic is not elegant, or witty, or anything but pathetic.

That said, I know exactly how you feel. Pack your things and please forgive me for sending you to that Pit of Gryffindor Entitlement. I'll be there to take you home tomorrow at nine ack emma.

You shall have tutors galore and all the respect you've a right to.

With all my love,

Draco Malfoy

Finis






I really felt like writing this. So sue me. :P :P :P

Comments

[lhug-bereth.livejournal.com]

ZOMG! *dies laughing*
I know how you feel dear, but I still have hope in Fandom...

AS/S forever baby!

[anaid-rabbit.livejournal.com]

*worships* I... needed that. Thank you.

[orange-creative.livejournal.com]

I don't know how I can feel so disappointed with DH when it's provided me with the ability to read rants/fics likes these. :]

Thanks.

I feel so much better and ready to join the ranks of Carpetbook.

[aimakichan.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AWESOME. Poor Scorpius. ;_; First a crap name, now this.

[alex-lebeau.livejournal.com]

*snork*

I'm coming to the opinion that Rowling simply got fucking tired of writing these books after GOF. OoTP took forever, apparently (I didn't bother to read them until after it had come out, and even I knew that much), and HBP was clumsy as hell. I read it once. Never picked it up again. My brain simply refused to process it.

DH was worse. So much worse. Which is why I am going back to my Snape/Hermione fanfic, and ignoring it thusly, because fucking hell.

(And couldn't Draco had found a different constellation to name the kid after? Scorpius, I ask you....)

[(Anonymous)]

Hi there, I was backreading your lj and I wondered which country you come from? You use a lot of British slang and you apparently have relatives in Jamaica and France which is pretty spread out!

[ingriam.livejournal.com]

I meant to suggest this earlier, but have you heard of Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past? It's a very good fic; it actually manages to give the Death Eediots the teeth that Rowling couldn't manage to do.

[deviceles.livejournal.com]

Thank you for making me smile.

[sirena-lune.livejournal.com]

It's hilarious! I haven't read DH yet, but I've heard that you read it on the net. Care to link?

[ingriam.livejournal.com]

By some kind of weird cosmic fluke, my sis won a copy of book 7 at work. I might just decide to read it; morbid curiosity and all.