(no subject)

[flyingskull]

Hello my friends, I'm back online and am ambulatory! I went to work! Yea, verily and suchlike I went to my lil place of work on my own two legs and I worked!

You'll have noticed I'm still a bit high with joy, I presume. And so, being so joyful and things, methought of a great idea! Why not utterly desecrate Shakespeare for one of my ignoble pastiches and spoofs? Why not indeed. So I'm rewriting Romeo and Juliet. It's all William's fault! 'My only love sprung on my only hate'...! C'mon! Who can resist it? I can't. I had a long debate about who should be who, because, of course of the 'deny thy father' thingy, but in the end I couldn't resist Voldiemort as Paris, so I think Romeo will highjack that particular piece of Juliet's rant and that will be that.

Well, I'm the parodist, I can do it.

I've also decided that, being, as it were, a double agent, Snape will have a double role: he'll both be Capulet and the Nurse. Because I'm cruel, that's why.

There'll be unabriged and abriged Shakespearean verse (I've magled quite a few) and lots of prose with thous and thees thrown in every now and then. To give it a flavour, y'know? There's also a mini-tiny-wee tribute to Maya in this section. Because she started a Veela!Harry fic and she deserves tributes.

And so, without further ado, let me present:

ROMEO AND JULIET, HOGWARTS STYLE

THE PROLOGUE

Eldritch smoke illuminated by eerie lights. Enter the Bloody Baron.

B. BARON
Two Houses, both alike in dignity
Inside fair Hogwarts, where we lay our scene…
Yes, yes, I know there are four, but who cares about those bookworms Ravenclaws and those canon-fodder Hufflepuffs! (titters at own jest. coughs and regains his dignity)
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny
Where schoolboy blood makes schoolboy hands unclean.
Each House bred forth a champion of its values:
Brave Gryffindors look up to dark-haired Harry,
Bold as a lion, catching the snitch for victory
While cunning Slytherins to Draco look
Their precious prince of plans, pale haired and pointy.
What trials befell those two and how it turned out
We'll now show you. Prepare to shed your tears.

ACT I

A HALL IN HOGWARTS

Crabbe and Goyle of the House of Slytherin, to them Dean and Seamus of the House Gryffindor.

CRABBE
I can abide everything but the House of Gryffindor.

GOYLE
So can't I and if we meet them I'll show them what's what.

CRABBE
Well, here's your chance.

GOYLE
So I see, draw thy wand.

CRABBE
'Tis out. But let them begin hexing lest we lose house-points.

GOYLE
I'll smirk and sneer at them and let them take that as they will.

CRABBE
Nah. I'll thumb my nose at them, which will be a disgrace to them if they bear it. (thumbs nose)

SEAMUS
Do you thumb your nose at us, Slytherin?

CRABBE
Will I get detention if I say yes?

GOYLE
Yes.

CRABBE
Well, Gryffindor, I do not thumb my nose at you, but I do thumb my nose.

DEAN
Excavating it, more like.

GOYLE
Do you quarrel, Gryffindor?

DEAN
Quarrel? Not at all.

CRABBE
But if you do, I am for you. I study with as good a professor as you.

SEAMUS
No better?

GOYLE
Say 'better', here comes one of our best wands.

CRABBE
Yes, much better!

DEAN
You lie.

CRABBE
Draw if you be men! Gregory, remember your knuckle-duster curse!

They hex like mad. Ron enters running followed by Blaise

RON
Stop fools! Put up thy wands! There's professors around!

BLAISE
What? Art thou casting among those brainless dogs?
Turn thee, Ron Weasel, and look upon your death.

RON
I do but keep the peace. Put down your wand.

BLAISE
Wand drawn and talk of peace? I hate the word
As I hate Light, all Gryffindors and thee.
Have at thee, coward!

RON
Coward? I'll show you coward, you Death Eater in Training!

The whole hall is lighted by hexes and curses. Enters Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
STOP THIS AT ONCE! Stop it I say! Read my lips! Watch my eyes! Do they twinkle? No. (the fight stops) That's better. I do not want to see more fights in my school or I shall personally cast Crucio on the lot of you! Now begone!

All exeunt, grumbling.

GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM

MCGONAGALL
Mr Weasley, what started the fight?

RON
It was those slimy Slytherins, professor! I tried to stop the fight but bloody Zabini called me a coward so I hexed him good. Bloody Death Eater in training.

MCGONAGALL
Mr Weasley! Language!

RON
Sorry.

MCGONAGALL
I'd be thankful Harry wasn't in that fight, if I weren't so worried about him. He disappears! Stays locked in his room all day and prowls the grounds at night. He'll never become an Auror if he keeps neglecting his studies like this. Do you know what's troubling him?

RON
No, but I'll make him tell me, ma'm. I'm his best friend, he can't hide from me.

MCGONAGALL
Good boy. Now go and hound him until he spits it out.

THE QUIDDITCH PITCH

RON
Good morrow, Harry.

HARRY
Is the day so young?

RON
But now struck nine.

HARRY
Ay me, sad hours seem so long.

RON
Tell me what sadness lengthens Harry's hours?

HARRY
Not having that which, having, makes them short.

RON
Huh?

HARRY
Not having… Oh, for goodness, sake! A girlfriend.

RON
You're in love?

HARRY
Out.

RON
You're out of love?

HARRY
Out of her favour where I am in love.

RON
Aaah! Cho's dumped you, then?

HARRY
She will not stay the siege of loving terms
Nor bid the encounter of assailing eyes
Not ope her lap to saint-seducing gold…
O, she is rich in beauty, what a crumpet!

RON
Alright, mate, listen to me, there's plenty of other fishes in the sea.

HARRY
But none as scrumptious as she.

RON
Oy! What about my sister Ginny?

HARRY
Being thy sister, she is dear to me,
But love? She can't hold a candle
To pert Cho Chang, Ravenclaw's guiding light.

RON
But Ginny loves thee madly, and she's a Gryffindor and… Oh, alright. Come on, you'll find someone that will make thee forget that haughty beauty.

HARRY
Farewell, thou canst not teach me to forget. (exits)

RON
O bloody hell.

SLYTHERIN HOUSE

SNAPE
Look, if I am to be of any use in this school I can't openly defy the Headmaster. Besides McGonagall is bound as well as I. We need to wait.

VOLDEMORT
So be it. But what say you to my suit?

SNAPE
What I've said before, Lord. Draco is a child, he's still naïve and, for all his posturing, knows nothing of the world. Wait until he's seventeen and then give him the Mark.

VOLDEMORT
Younger than he are happy Death Eaters made.

SNAPE
And too soon marr'd are those so early made.
But woo him, gentle Riddle, get his heart,
My will to his consent is but a part,
And he agreed, within his scope of choice
Lies my consent and fair according voice.
Look, tonight we have a party in our common room and of course you're invited. There thou shall flit like a bee from flower to flower of slytherinhood and woo my charges as thou seest fit. (summons house-elf)
Go, sirrah, trudge about,
Throughout fair Hogwarts, find these persons out
Whose names are written here, and to them say:
My House and welcome to their pleasure stay.

Snape and Voldemort exeunt.

DOBBY
I is ruined! Ruined, ruined, ruined! Poor Dobby was never taught to read by bad Malfoy masters! How is Dobby to go to persons if Dobby cannot read persons' names? Dobby must find Great Harry Potter and ask Noble Harry Potter to read names to Dobby or Dobby will be bad house elf and will have to punish himself! (pops out)

ANOTHER HALL IN HOGWARTS

RON
Harry, will you stop brooding?

HARRY
No. Brooding is my duty and pleasure.

RON
Are you mad?

HARRY
Not mad but bound more than a madman is:
Shut up in prison, kept without my food,
Whipped and tormented and… Good Lord it's worse than at the Dursleys! (Dobby pops in) Dobby! What do you want?

DOBBY
Can the Great, Noble and Good Harry Potter read this for poor Dobby? Is list that bad professor Snape has made for party.

HARRY
Alright, give here. Let's see… Nott, Bulstrode, Parkinson, Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle… why doesn't he shout the names in his common room? All Slytherins… no, wait. Boot, Smith, Lovegood, Cho! Chang! He's invited beauteous Cho! (sighs. Dobby pulls his robe) Oh yes, and Bones, Finch-Fletchley and McMillan. There you go, Dobby.

DOBBY
Oh thank you Bounteous Harry Potter sir! Thank you! (pops out)

RON
What a boot-licker!

HARRY
(sighs) Choooooo…

RON
Go to the party, then. Compare your Cho to the other beauties there and be heart-whole again.

HARRY
What beauties? Millicent Bulstrode?

RON
Well, Pansy Parkinson swings a mean robe… I mean, she's evil, but then, what a saucy Slytherin… I mean saucy in a very evil way, you know, I mean…

HARRY
I'll go along, not such sights to be shown
But to rejoice in splendour of my own. Oh, Cho!

Part Two

It won't take long, the tragedy is proceeding apace.

Comments

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

You're back! Wohey! :D

No useful comments at this point, because it's late and all, but...

RON
Alright, mate, listen to me, there's plenty of other fishes in the sea.

HARRY
But none as scrumptious as she.

... that made me laugh quite a lot. Just wanted you to know. :D

Oh, and:

HARRY
(sighs) Choooooo…

Harry's got even me beat when it comes to revelling in his own lovesick misery. =]

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Hello luv. HUGZ.

Thanks for the laughs and let me assure you I've toned the original down. You should read real Romeo's rants about his Rosaline (yeps, that's the one before Juliet). Sorry, quite late and preparing for the ball scene and balcony scene and all that. Will cut them most unmercifully, don't worry.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

(*HUGS*) It's good to see those bones on my friendlist again. :)

I've seen two different movie versions of Romeo and Juliet, but to my shame, I can only remember that there was something about an ex that Romeo was pining for. Shakespeare's characters talk a lot. I tend to tune them out after a while. =]

/barbarian

Hehe, cut with or without mercy, I'll read it with pleasure either way. :D

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

HUGZ BACK it's good to see that scarab, luv.

Yeah, you barbarian with NO appreciation of poetry, but I can forgive you because Rome and Juliet, being a somewhat imperfect work, has lots of bad peotry in it.

Am cutting, but, y'know, it's so much fun to distort it that sometimes I can't bring myself to cut too much.

Next on a computer screen near you... wait for it... Snape as Nurse and a not quite as romantic as one'd expect ball and balcony scene. *G*

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Hey, you got that it was a scarab! :D Did you see the reply I made (uhm... somewhere... ^_^;) to that lady who asked if it was some kind of turtle? Because if you didn't, you're the first to get it right. =] I wonder what that means, in a Rorschach-test sense? Most people appear not to be predisposed to see scarabs... =]

I confess to being unsuited for poetry. ^_^; Having just seen Dead Poets Society, I've come to realise just how little I think of the entire art form. The entire idea of poetry seems to be to wallow in your emotions, like you're the helpless victim of them. I prefer prose. Prose writers seem more inclined to think things through and wonder what they mean instead of just taking their impressions as a given.

I'm being terribly unfair and generalising beyond all sense, I am of course aware. =] Still, poetry and prose do seem to lend themselves better to different approaches...

As for Shakespeare and Rosaline, though... I don't remember how much Romeo whined about not getting her, but I do remember appreciating (in most of Shakespeare's plays, in fact) the sense of a past. There's usually hints of events that aren't part of the story, like Romeo's brooding over this chick we never even get to see. =] It makes you feel the characters didn't come out of thin air - they had lives before they walked onto the stage.

I may be a barbarian about poetry, but I do appreciate storytelling technique. ;)

Dear lord, the balcony scene... I can't wait to see what you'll do with that. 0_0

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Yeah, got that since first I saw it, I have a thing for ancient Egypt. Yes, I read your reply to lilian_cho, but I already had the thing sussed out. Erudite me! :p

I will never understand why some people can't get poetry: you do love music, don't you? Or do you? Now I come to think of it, we never discussed music. Well, if you don't like music, then you can't see what poetry's all about. It's not only emotions, luv, it's Stories. There aren't only lyrical sonnets and suchlike, there's poems too. Stories in music, y'know? Like the Iliad and Gilgamesh and so on.

Also the very best poetry forces you to think on things, to view reality in another way, to give you such a compressed set of info that it would take ten chapter in a novel to explain. Don't think it's not rational, in fact it's much more rational than prose, in a way. It makes a reader work much harder than prose. Maybe you're just lazy? :p

Not that it's not your right to dislike it, was just arguing.

Well, yes. When you consider one could write a long story about Osric in Hamlet who's such a minor character he only has very few lines, you can see how bloody GOOD Shakespeare was at backstorying, at creating four-dimensional characters: all that sense of time past and time possible in them.

Not yet to the balcony scene, happily mangled ball scene. Come and see.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Yeah, got that since first I saw it, I have a thing for ancient Egypt.

I'm thinking it'd be superflous to ask if you've been there. :) It's a pretty awesome place, isn't it? Certainly the only country I've been to that I want to visit again, for some other reason than that I've got friends in it. I think I could sit and stare into the desert for hours on end.

(*pause while much gets written and erased*)

Forgive me - I keep wanting to write a lot of stream-of-consciousness-style things, none of which are likely to make much sense, and most of which are likely to make me sound like a bit of a maniac. =] Let's just say that the desert affected me more strongly than just about any other landscape I've seen in my life.

Erudite me! :p

Always - at least if it means what I think it means! :D

you do love music, don't you?

I adore music. :) I go around singing all the time. I have a harddrive full of MP3s that I listen to when I study or write or whatnot. I dance when nobody's watching (which is not in accordance with that popular life advice, but the way I dance, I believe there's a risk that onlookers might be harmed. =]). There was a time when I would have said that music was one of the few reasons to live that I could think of.

I just don't have any discernable taste in it. I hear one song and like it, and then I hear another one and don't like it much, and then someone tells me "those were both Country." (or whatever)

And I say, "they were? But, but, but they were different..." ^_^;;

Apparently, I'm what you might call conceptually tone deaf. I can't tell one type of music from another. My high school Music teacher despaired of me. ^_^;;

Now I come to think of it, we never discussed music.

(*offers*) I love musicals. I don't think that means I have any taste in music, because musicals can have any sort of music in them, but nevertheless. I might go so far as to say they're a superior form of storytelling, since you can express the dominating emotions of a scene much more efficiently if your characters are allowed to burst into song. =]

such a compressed set of info that it would take ten chapter in a novel to explain.

Well... I can sort of agree when it's set to music. (perhaps more because that's when I've got the patience to listen to it than for any other reason? ^_^;) I mean, to use one of my personal favourites...

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd
He served a dark and a hungry god
To seek revenge may lead to Hell
But everyone does it, but seldom as well
As Sweeney
As Sweeney Todd
The demon barber of Fleet Street

It kind of expresses the tone of the story - the near-religious awe for the horrificness of the main character's crimes, the careless cruelty with which all the characters are treated by the story, the twisted humour, the flat realism that makes the horror more horrible - better than any ten chapters. I concede it. :)

It makes a reader work much harder than prose. Maybe you're just lazy? :p

Ehehehehehehe... well... ^_^;;;

That's probably part of it, yeah. Music just slips in through your ears and you can mull it over at your leisure. Prose you can skim, so that you skip over all the damn descriptions and long stretches when nothing happens and get to the parts that matter. With poetry you have to read every word. Every damn one of them.

(*wails*) Who can be bothered? ^_^;;; I keep wanting to yell at the poet, "oh, get to the point already!".

If I may summarise - I actually do like to lie around pondering a few isolated lines of text, so if that's what you mean by working harder, I'm all for it. :) So presumably I would indeed like good poetry. It's just that bad poetry is so much more painful than bad prose, so while I can imagine wading through the bad prose to get to the good prose, the idea of reading tons of bad poetry to find something good makes me want to curl up and whimper. ^_^;;

Not yet to the balcony scene, happily mangled ball scene. Come and see.

I've seen. The short version is, "bravo! Even better than the first chapter! :D". I'll comment more in depth than that, though, I hope, under the proper topic. =]

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Remember what Pterry said about the desert in Pyramids? I happen to concur. Been to Egypt several times, thanks to own business, love it, love the desert, love the archaeology.

That's not 'tone deaf' that's being immune to genres, as I am in lit. If you love music, then you've got NO excuse for dissing poetry. So there. :P Poetry is lyrics without the music... no. Nonono, poetry is lyrics with IMPLIED music you should be able to hear. Musicals are alright, ballads are alright, every musical work is alright if you like it. As in lit, one can like a book and not the whole genre of it, there ARE differences and I suppose that LISTENING with one's mind to books, music, art, whatever is the true point of it all.

*smug* I KNEW you were just being a lazy sod, luv. And pondering a few isolated lines of text is alright, y'know? Like "On perilpous seas in faery land forlorn". You can ponder on THAT for ages. *is not telling which peom or poet* *is really unsufferably smug*

Can't rec good poetry, though, it's WAY too personal to have any idea of what would go down well. Could try, I suppose, but not sure it would serve.

Well? Were IS in-depth commentary on Act I part two? *taps foot* *is gleeful she can tap foot and also conscious she is angling for compliments which is really beyond the pale*

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

sorry too many typos, is late and am sleepy, though stubborn and want to talk.

Line is: "on perilous seas in faery lands forlorn"

Urgle.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Remember what Pterry said about the desert in Pyramids?

Remind me. I don't have the book with me and it was a while since I read it. ^_^;

love the archaeology

I've been to Karnak. It's is pretty amazing. I've been in a number of churches, including St Peter's cathedral in Rome, but Karnak felt more majestic, more awe-inspiring, more sacred than any of them. The hordes of people trying to sell tacky souvenires notwithstanding... =]

That's not 'tone deaf' that's being immune to genres, as I am in lit.

Really? Well, yay me, then! I'm not a stupid person who can't tell one thing from another, I'm an enlightened person who can't be fooled by illusory categories! :D

If you love music, then you've got NO excuse for dissing poetry.

Darn. Can I at least diss the poetry in Dead Poets Society? I actually listened to that one, after all. Reluctantly, but even so. =]

As in lit, one can like a book and not the whole genre of it

I most certainly hope so. =] Even if we are to stick with the "genre" of musicals, there is Moulin Rouge. Every time I think about Moulin Rouge, I get so tired that I have to go lie down for a while.

Actually, excuse me for a moment... ^_^;;

(*goes and lies down for a while*)

There, I feel better now. Oh, and while Hair has a number of great songs, I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to think "HAH HAH! SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE LITTLE SHIT!" when one of the main characters died at the end... =]

So yes, certainly, there are god and bad applications of that particular storytelling technique (as with all others), even if I'm slightly in love with the technique in itself.

*smug* I KNEW you were just being a lazy sod, luv.

Sadly, a great many of my preferences can be traced back to me being a lazy sod. ^_^;;

*is not telling which peom or poet*

Actually? I know that poem. It's in a book of mine.

Which I have at home, of course.

And of course I don't remember the name or author of the poem, though they were both noted down in the book. ^_^;;

So if you would be so kind as to try to imagine how cool I would have looked if I had immediately rattled off the right answer there... ^_^;;;

Can't rec good poetry, though, it's WAY too personal to have any idea of what would go down well.

It might be a fun thing to try, though. How well do you know me after, mmm, about nine months now, isn't it? ;) What do I dream about? What do I think is romantic? What, in essence, makes me feel lyrical? =]

If you make a guess, I'll tell you what my guess about you would be. :) (it's probably dead wrong, of course, but it's fun trying. =])

Were IS in-depth commentary on Act I part two?

Uhm... I'm not sure how in-depth it is, but I did post a long reply for it. It's still there, I checked. ^_^;

*is gleeful she can tap foot and also conscious she is angling for compliments which is really beyond the pale*

I'm happy for you and your feet, and I'm perfectly willing to compliment deserving parties. For example, have I mentioned recently how intelligent and charismatic and formidable and good-looking you are? (okay, so I'm forced to guess on the last one, but that's no reason to neglect a good compliment) =]

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Pterry - actually it was pteppic by why carp? - said that he understood why both religion and astronomy had been born in the desert: it's that the sky is SO near and also there's nothing else to see. This also explains why camels are so into higher maths, there's nothing to see, there's not much to do and they do not have opposable thumbs.

I saw almost all of it: the Valley of the Kings, the Valley fo the Quuens, Karnak, Luxor, Asuan, the obligatory pyramids and sphinx... *sigh* ineffable!

You can diss the poetry in Dead Poets Society all you like, it's not my kind of poetry. *G*

The line is from Ode on a Nightingale by Keats whom I adore even if he was very young and at times quite uneven. But he's always telling stories, or fragments of stories, sometimes with just one line. Why are the Faerylands forlorn? Why are its seas perilous exactly? It's what Gaiman tried to do a lot in Sandman, give fragments that would make people think up stories, imagine whole worlds, like the Ishtar fragment in Brief Lives. Keats does that a lot. Shakespeare does that a lot.

Can't say I know you well, my dear friend, though I delude myself I know you a little, but I'd say you'd do worse than start with the narrative poets who didn't write VERY long poems. Love poetry can be much more powerful, of course, but I fear language may bit a problem there, because poetry doesn't really translate well. So... Well, Homer's Iliad, Ovid's Metamorphoses, (I think these translate well enough), would say Gawain and the Green knight (which you'd appreciate, I'm sure) but I don't think you can read English THAT arcaic: surely Pope's The Rape of the Lock would make you grin a snicker; Keats' St Agnes' Eve, Lamia, La belle dame sans merci, Hyperion to start with some classics. The Robin Hood cycle of ballads. And love... I am quite sure you'd love Catullus frank and uncensored view of sex, love and affection, but the translations tend to be very mealy mouthed and ruin the fury. How are you for Italian? Petrarca is very sexy and he sucks you in, but, again, trasnlations tend to be not so good. D'you know French? Ronsard is spectacular. Donne has some incredibly hot herotic HET poetry, one that can call sweat after intercouse 'love's cement' is a hell of a poet IMO. Keats again 'those lips, o slippery blisses' which happens to be a paean to spittle. As you can see I like my poetry very grounded in the flesh. Robert Graves has some lovely things.

Your turn. :P

Sorry LJ didn't see fit to alert me to the fact that you HAD reviewed. Thanks for doing so. HUGZ

Isn't it funny that you only got one out of three and that's the good-looking part? *G* Am average in brains, you should talk to mum or Fleur. Wouldn't know what charisma is if it danced naked with a pink ostrich plume stuck up its arse signing 'Charismatic youuuuuu' on a gold and diamond piano. But me, I'm exotic and striking and had - possibly will have again soon - a hell of a good body. Thakee for the comoliment, oh brilliant, witty, generous, interesting Swede (Possibly I'm bonkers but I kind of have this picture of a Viking in my mind when I think of you, though NOT, rest assured, with a beard doen up in pigtails.

Musicals can be either quite good or pukers of the first stink. Neve could understand why. My fave is, of course, Rocky Horror Picture Show. :P

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Ah, that sounds like Pratchett. =] And I agree. With every other sort of landscape, I feel like they're trying to make some kind of statement.

Don't look at me like that. Everyone humanises inanimate objects. It's an inherent human folly. I'm just more aware of it than most. =]

Cities say "hurry up! Lots of work to be done!". Forests say "decompose already! I need the fertiliser!". Farmland says "keep away! Important work is going on and you're in the way!". Mountains say "look how majestic I am. Worship me, tiny little human." Oceans say "Muahahaha - I'm going to gobble you up!".

The desert just says "oh. It's you. Whatever." The desert doesn't care. :D And because of that, you're free to listen to what the voices in your head are trying to tell you. =]

Mmm, yeah, I saw both valleys and Luxor Temple too. Haven't seen the pyramids or the sphinx yet, though I mean to. :)

Those graves disappointed me in one way and impressed me in another. When you think about the graves of pharaos, you picture something more... grand. Those things are just narrow tunnels and tiny chambers, nothing special... until you realise why they're so cramped, which is that people had to cut them out by hand. Out of solid rock.

And then you start pondering just how much force, how much power was exerted to create something that has survived for all these thousands of year. It gives you a perspective on what it is to be human that is humbling to use pampered children of high technology. 0_0

Sorry, I think I'm waffling here. =]

Gaah! I thought it was Keats, but I thought I just imagined that because he's one of the few poets I can actually remember the name of! ^_^;;

I admit that what I've read of the poem is evocative. The title somewhat turns me off, though. Of all the things to write odes to, this fellow chose a fowl? Honestly. ;)

Short poems sounds nice, yes. ^_^;

I really should read the Iliad. If nothing else, it's one of those things that makes one look educated and sophisticated. :D

Lamia? Hmm. That one has a vampire in it, doesn't it? Worth checking out for that alone, perhaps... =]

Metamorphoses sounds intriguing. 0_o And familiar, like I read about in school, but it was probably one of those things I never paid attention to. What's it about?

The Rape of the Lock? Dare I ask? =]

Less of the love poetry, I think. ^_^; I'm so tired about hearing about love that I'm writing my novel without a love interest in pure protest. =] I think I have, mmm, four "pairings" as it were in the story, and they all fall (intentionally) very short of the romantic ideal.

Hmm. No Paradise Lost? ;) You're not a fan, or you think I wouldn't be? Also no The Raven, which is one of the few poems I've actually liked, but I might have let it slip that I've already read that one... =]

My Italian and French are, I fear, all but non-existant. I speak a little German, but otherwise, language isn't my strong suit. A bit of a drawback, I confess, for a self-styled author... ^_^;

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Your turn. :P

Okay, were I to guess... hidden valleys. Uncharted coasts. Snowcapped mountains. Pioneers, carving a new country into their image with sweat and blood. Faerie courts. Otherness. Challenges you must face on your own.

Yeah, that's what I'd guess made your heart soar. =] Given that list of suggestions I just got, though, I somewhat doubt I've gotten it right. =]

So I guess we're still mysteries to each other. All well and good - you're the only one of my friends that I haven't known for aaaages and so know pretty much everything about. I'd forgotten how much fun it was to get to know someone. =]

Thanks for doing so. HUGZ

My pleasure. (*HUGS*) :)

Am average in brains, you should talk to mum or Fleur.

I'll take your word for those two, but you're quite capable of giving me views on things I've never even considered all on your own. =] Oh, and debating me into a standstill, no mean feat that, even if I do say so myself... =]

Wouldn't know what charisma is if it danced naked with a pink ostrich plume stuck up its arse signing 'Charismatic youuuuuu' on a gold and diamond piano.

And yet you seem to have charmed me quite considerably. ;)

But me, I'm exotic and striking and had - possibly will have again soon - a hell of a good body.

Mmm. Considering your current circumstances does conjure up a different mental picture of you than I get from just considering your personality. It gets kind of confusing. =]

I have every confidence you'll get your muscles back now that you're up and walking again. :)

Thakee for the comoliment, oh brilliant, witty, generous, interesting Swede

(*beams and bows*) Quite my pleasure, madame. :)

Possibly I'm bonkers but I kind of have this picture of a Viking in my mind when I think of you, though NOT, rest assured, with a beard doen up in pigtails.

Funnily enough, someone told me just last week I looked like a Viking. I dunno, blue eyes, beard, long blondish hair... I guess there's something to it, though I have always found a horned helmet to be an unncessary fashion statement. =] And I keep my beard short - just enough of it so that I can stroke it and look intellectual when I'm thinking. =]

My fave is, of course, Rocky Horror Picture Show. :P

Errrrk. I had managed to suppress all memory of that one. 0_0

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Urgle, I had forgotten to answer this one. So here goes:

Yeah, that's what I'd guess made your heart soar. =] Given that list of suggestions I just got, though, I somewhat doubt I've gotten it right. =]

Otherness makes me heart soar. And challenges and puzzles, so you got me right. Don't be red-herringed by the love poems, to a woman males are otherness, and a challenge, and puzzles. Science makes me heart soar, but to me that implies a lot that people I know mostly don't associate with it: imagination, daring, risks and yes what can also be called fantasy, though not in the precise definition of a lit genre sense.

So you actually got it, though I suspect the travel agency part influenced you a bit. I used to love travelling more than I do now, actually. Geographical places are interesting and fascinating, but the places the mind can go to are infinitely more lovely to me right now. Chalk this up to enforced stillness of the body.

Which takes me to phisical things. You may have suspected I am NOT modest, which I ain't at all, but I'm not vain either - right, stop looking like that AM NOT a Sue! - so by good body I mean I'm.... what's the stupid phrase?... Oh yes, curves in all the right places? UGH, but, alright, that's me. GREAY body. *is quite smug about it* And chocolate skin. And dark golden hair. And light brown eyes. You know. That sort of cliche Sueish thing. Some of us females have to look like that, right? *is quite insufferably smug about her looks*

But no, am not THAT intelligent. Or charismatic. I suppose it's Nature's way to contain smugness in her daughters.

Am SO glad you look like a Viking! I love being right! Heehee! Right, you've reduced me to silly-fangurl-ness, it can't be borne. Now I have this picture of you like Robert Rankin only younger and with longer hair.

My fave is, of course, Rocky Horror Picture Show. :P

Errrrk. I had managed to suppress all memory of that one. 0_0

Hey! It's ironic! And parodistic! And and and... you sodding homophobe Swede! :p :p :p

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

Don't be red-herringed by the love poems, to a woman males are otherness, and a challenge, and puzzles.

Men would say the same about women, I think. :)

Science makes me heart soar, but to me that implies a lot that people I know mostly don't associate with it: imagination, daring, risks and yes what can also be called fantasy, though not in the precise definition of a lit genre sense.

We see eye to eye there, then, I think. :) I know enough about science to know that it lies awfully close to art. It's a lot of fun, reading about great scientists through the ages. They tend to be... colourful. =]

I love technology more than science, though. I love how powerful it is, and how fragile. Get one thing wrong, and everything breaks apart. But get everything right, plan it all out in advance, and it's allpowerful. Technology is victory. :D

(*erases rant*) Ahem. I rant about things I feel passionate about. Suffice to say, technology feels very poetic to me. =]

Incidentally, I know you're not entirely opposed to comics, but how interested are you? Like, could I recommend a pretty normal superhero series to you, something that's in all due honesty miles beneath the likes of Sandman? =]

If so, check out The New Atom. It's a lot of fun, and centers on a bunch of scientists (and a view of science) who're very far from the usual "walking computers in white coats" stereotype. =]

So you actually got it, though I suspect the travel agency part influenced you a bit. I used to love travelling more than I do now, actually.

That did influence me, yes, and you talk about your travels a lot... :) Still, I got the generalities right even if the specifics slipped out of my grasp. A semi-yay to me, I guess. =]

Geographical places are interesting and fascinating, but the places the mind can go to are infinitely more lovely to me right now.

Hee hee, you're turning into a me. :D New places never seemed like they were worth the effort of getting to them, to me. New ideas, on the other hand... :) I love my books. And I love the Internet. Meeting interesting people without budging from your chair - the lazy philosopher's dream come true. =]

Okay, by all means, there are some things I'm unlikely to get without dragging my lazy self out that door, but still... =]

right, stop looking like that AM NOT a Sue!

I was in no way looking at you "like that." You have far too much personality to be a Sue. :)

Oh yes, curves in all the right places? UGH, but, alright, that's me. GREAY body. *is quite smug about it* And chocolate skin. And dark golden hair. And light brown eyes. You know. That sort of cliche Sueish thing. Some of us females have to look like that, right? *is quite insufferably smug about her looks*

Oh my. I think my knees just went a bit weak. ^_^; Sounds like you're due some smugness, I'd say. :D

(Hmm, all that and a British accent... yes, my knees are definitely performing a bit below usual parameters right now...)

And now I've got a decent idea what you look like, which is nice, because my image of you was a little blurry. =]

And yes, some women have to look cool and exotic. And it's only fair that you're one of them, seeing as you are cool and exotic even not counting looks. :)

Right, you've reduced me to silly-fangurl-ness, it can't be borne.

(*beams*) Sorry, but... (*beams*) =]

Hmm, I have a couple of pictures lying around, but I find I don't much like them. They're too old - my hair's too short in them, and my face is too round. (*is probably more vain than people looking like him has any business being*) ^_^;; Well, I can get a new one in a couple of weeks, so then I can let you see for yourself if I look sufficiently Rankin-esque... =]

Hey! It's ironic! And parodistic! And and and... you sodding homophobe Swede! :p :p :p

(*dignified*) Maybe I'm homophobic because I'm still traumatised from watching Rocky Horror Picture Show - ever think of that, huh? :P

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Am not opposed to comics in any way, shape or form. I used to read X-Men for effing sake! I mean, my dada was a fan but it was a rather delightful thing at the beginning. Now they've gone downhill a lot, but I blame Hollywood, it destroys everything it touches. Am SO glad Pterry's always said no to it.

So... The New Atom, ay? Will check and thanks.

New places never seemed like they were worth the effort of getting to them, to me. New ideas, on the other hand... :)

Well, I love travelling still, I mean the very act of 'getting there'. Sometimes it's more interesting than the place you actually arrive at. And yes, I love to see things I haven't seen yet, be they Nature or Manmade. But the travelling into the mind's possibilities - and I DO mean science - it's utterly fascinating, like taking a spaceship or a Tardis to go to other dimensions or universes or... you know!

Oh, and you can keep Technology. I use it, but feel no affection for it. :P

Oh, DO straighten your knees, dude. I know I sound like Emberella. 'S a pity I never met Pterry - yes, well, ten second of book signing do not a meeting make - or I could be all proud he'd taken his idea from me. Which he hasn't. At all. HMPH. BUT I rather love your shameless flattering, especially when you say I am cool and exotic even not counting looks. So we beam at each other, yes? :P

Do NOT repeat not send pictures. I'll scan a R: Rankin book cover and you can say: NO! YES! A bit. Not much. Whatever. I'm quite leery of photos on the net. A friend of mine got her photo highjacked and used shamelessly in all kinds of contexts not all of which were to her liking and I tend to paranoia.

How can watching Rocky Horror Picture Show traumatise an intelligent person? *is severe* Admit you hated the music and let's be done with it.

[baeraad.livejournal.com]

But the travelling into the mind's possibilities - and I DO mean science - it's utterly fascinating, like taking a spaceship or a Tardis to go to other dimensions or universes or... you know!

I guess I do know. :)

I'm afraid I mostly like the soft sciences, though, like psychology and history and whatnot. I've tried reading astrophysics, but I tend to doze off pretty soon. ^_^;;

Oh, and you can keep Technology. I use it, but feel no affection for it. :P

Maybe it's a question of both of us liking, well, otherness. You're an active, decisive person, so science, being pure thought, appeals to you... whereas I am a passive, indecisive person, so I love technology, because it gets things done?

Oh, DO straighten your knees, dude. I know I sound like Emberella.

Well, it's for about the same reason as her, isn't there, what with you having ancestry from all over the place? =] Whereas I'm what you get when you breed Swedes to Swedes for long enough. You get the uber-Swede. =] It goes for my personality too, actually. I've got all the common Swedish quirks, only even more so.

Alas. I have the soul of a unique individual, but I have the genes of Stereotypical Scandinavian # 2989020. =]

BUT I rather love your shameless flattering, especially when you say I am cool and exotic even not counting looks. So we beam at each other, yes? :P

Hehehe... 'tis true, I have no shame when it comes to flattery. Deserving people should have their egos stroked! =]

Do NOT repeat not send pictures. I'll scan a R: Rankin book cover and you can say: NO! YES! A bit. Not much. Whatever.

Aw. Well, as you wish. :)

I'm quite leery of photos on the net. A friend of mine got her photo highjacked and used shamelessly in all kinds of contexts not all of which were to her liking and I tend to paranoia.

I'd never do that! Uhm... but you only have my word on that, I suppose... ^_^;; Yeah, okay, I see your point.

How can watching Rocky Horror Picture Show traumatise an intelligent person? *is severe* Admit you hated the music and let's be done with it.

I can't remember the music. I can just remember everyone, male or female, secretely wanting to be fucked by the creepy guy in all the makeup. And that's just the parts I haven't managed to suppress all memory of. ^_^;;

Bravo!

[kestrelsparhawk.livejournal.com]

I loved it! I chortled through the whole thing, though the part I like best is tying the "thumbing of the nose" to house points... and excavation, which I don't recall from the original, though of course it's been awhile. More please.

*goes to tell her friends*

Re: Bravo!

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Oooh, you recced me! *swoons in ecstasy* Thanks lots, luv.

The excavation is all mine, I mangled the original quite a bit, thankyew. The fact that I was watching a very old BBC production of R&J with Alan Rickman as Tybalt is what made me think of this eeejit pastiche. That and the fact that the first Capulet supporters we see are named Sampson and Gregory. It was as if the ghost of Parodies Past had been whispering in my ear: "Resistance is futile. You know you want to do this thing."

So I did.

Thanks again for the kind words and the rec and more is forthcoming in a couple of days or before. *G*

[woman-ironing.livejournal.com]

I don't quite know how I got here this time, but am so glad I did. What a fabulous and fabulously funny fic! Looking forward to more.

Congratulations on the walking!

[flyingskull.livejournal.com]

Thanks! So glad you like. Stay tuned, I'll have the rest of ACT I posted soon.

And thanks for the congrats.