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flyingskullRight, another long rant about books/comics and their cinematographic (elegant word) counterparts is forthcoming. Also a blab about Fullmetal Alchemist. Don't look at me like that, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
baeraad, it's ALL ingriam's fault!
But, before that and because I think crossovers are silly thing that provide me with endless amusement. here's my take on HPXFMA (No, it's not a sex/pairing indication, it's an abbreviation for crossover. :P ). No worries, mates, it's quite short.
Capslock Potter and the Fullmetal Alchemist
Fifth year at Hogwarts had just begun and, as if Harry hadn't things enough to angst and capslock against, the school seemed to have acquired a new student and a new suit of armour that some idiot kept moving around. Harry suspected the twins, but didn't dare say so because he may have been terminally angsty, but wasn't yet suicidal.
Thus musing, he was walking in the corridor with Ron and Hermione when he came face to face with one of the sources of his annoyance. The new student was there - Wouldn't you just know he'd be sorted into Slytherin? he grumpily thought - looking a little lost.
"Have you seen a suit of armour?" the new student asked, friendly enough.
Harry glared at him, offended by his outlandish attire and his gloves. Gloves! Who the fuck wore gloves indoor? What a poseur.
"Well?" the new student asked again, a note of impatience creeping into his voice.
"There's lots of..." Hermione began, but was rudely interrupted by Ron. She made a mental note not to do his transfiguration paper.
"Look," Ron said, belligerently, "we don't talk to stupid Slytherins who think it's funny to move suits of armour around the school. Now sodoff, dwarf." He turned to Harry. "Another deformed gnome in Slytherin, they collect them, don't they?" he asked loudly.
CLAP! The new student's hands joined in a prayer-like attitude. "Want to beg us, shrimp?" Ron was highly amused. SLAM! The new student's left hand hit the floor. "Ahahahahah!" laughed Ron. "On your knees, Slyth..." THUMP! A stone fist hit Ron so hard he slid several feet before coming to a rest against a wall, out like a candle.
Harry growled and, whipping out his wand, used his best and most efficacious spell.
"EXPELLIARMUS!!" he capslocked with gusto and watched as nothing whatsover happened. "WHAT!?" he interrobanged, shocked. "WHAT THE FUCK!? GAAAAH!" he yelled as he launched himself at the cockily grinning new student only to meet an iron fist that made him pirouette and drop like a stone.
Hermione had kept her cool and was now ready to avenge her mates.
"Stupefy!" she exclaimed in a clear firm voice, pointing her wand straight at the troublesome new Slytherin. CLAP! SLAM! WALL! RICOCHET! Hermione Granger went down like an empty sack.
Edward Elric dusted his hands, ready to resume his search for Al, when he heard clapping at his back. He turned and saw a short pale-haired pointy boy grinning like a hyena and clapping his hands in evident approval.
"They do nothing but call me 'runt' as well. Alright, among other insults, but you get my drift. Thank you," the boy drawled.
Ed beamed. A kindred soul in this mad place! Maybe it would be alright, after all. The boy was extending his hand.
"My name is Draco Malfoy," the boy said. "Whom have I the honour of addressing?"
"Edward Elric", Ed said, shaking the proffered hand. "The Fullmetal Alchemist."
"Alchemist?" Draco's eyes grew huge. "But that's wonderful! I love Alchemy! Though," he added in a spirt of fairness, "it's fallen in disuse, lately." He grew pensive for a bit and then said: "Look, I'm quite good at Potions. I can help you with that if you teach me Alchemy. I always wanted to make a Philosopher's Stone."
Edward Elric beamed, then he noticed that this Draco boy was a hair shorter than himself and beamed so much more. "I can see this is the start of a splendid friendship," he said, shaking the other's hand with immense vigour.
"Of course!" Draco enthused, while wondering if his arm could take all the battering. "A punishing right and a grip worthy of giant. Welcome to Slytherin."
Giant! Edward, thought. He felt his eyes sting in unexpected affection for his - shorter - new friend. Giant! Abruptly he hugged his new friend and said: "Have you seen a suit of armour?"
There. Lame, but I make meself laugh, being terminally stupid. :P:P:P
baeraad, it's ALL ingriam's fault!But, before that and because I think crossovers are silly thing that provide me with endless amusement. here's my take on HPXFMA (No, it's not a sex/pairing indication, it's an abbreviation for crossover. :P ). No worries, mates, it's quite short.
Capslock Potter and the Fullmetal Alchemist
Fifth year at Hogwarts had just begun and, as if Harry hadn't things enough to angst and capslock against, the school seemed to have acquired a new student and a new suit of armour that some idiot kept moving around. Harry suspected the twins, but didn't dare say so because he may have been terminally angsty, but wasn't yet suicidal.
Thus musing, he was walking in the corridor with Ron and Hermione when he came face to face with one of the sources of his annoyance. The new student was there - Wouldn't you just know he'd be sorted into Slytherin? he grumpily thought - looking a little lost.
"Have you seen a suit of armour?" the new student asked, friendly enough.
Harry glared at him, offended by his outlandish attire and his gloves. Gloves! Who the fuck wore gloves indoor? What a poseur.
"Well?" the new student asked again, a note of impatience creeping into his voice.
"There's lots of..." Hermione began, but was rudely interrupted by Ron. She made a mental note not to do his transfiguration paper.
"Look," Ron said, belligerently, "we don't talk to stupid Slytherins who think it's funny to move suits of armour around the school. Now sodoff, dwarf." He turned to Harry. "Another deformed gnome in Slytherin, they collect them, don't they?" he asked loudly.
CLAP! The new student's hands joined in a prayer-like attitude. "Want to beg us, shrimp?" Ron was highly amused. SLAM! The new student's left hand hit the floor. "Ahahahahah!" laughed Ron. "On your knees, Slyth..." THUMP! A stone fist hit Ron so hard he slid several feet before coming to a rest against a wall, out like a candle.
Harry growled and, whipping out his wand, used his best and most efficacious spell.
"EXPELLIARMUS!!" he capslocked with gusto and watched as nothing whatsover happened. "WHAT!?" he interrobanged, shocked. "WHAT THE FUCK!? GAAAAH!" he yelled as he launched himself at the cockily grinning new student only to meet an iron fist that made him pirouette and drop like a stone.
Hermione had kept her cool and was now ready to avenge her mates.
"Stupefy!" she exclaimed in a clear firm voice, pointing her wand straight at the troublesome new Slytherin. CLAP! SLAM! WALL! RICOCHET! Hermione Granger went down like an empty sack.
Edward Elric dusted his hands, ready to resume his search for Al, when he heard clapping at his back. He turned and saw a short pale-haired pointy boy grinning like a hyena and clapping his hands in evident approval.
"They do nothing but call me 'runt' as well. Alright, among other insults, but you get my drift. Thank you," the boy drawled.
Ed beamed. A kindred soul in this mad place! Maybe it would be alright, after all. The boy was extending his hand.
"My name is Draco Malfoy," the boy said. "Whom have I the honour of addressing?"
"Edward Elric", Ed said, shaking the proffered hand. "The Fullmetal Alchemist."
"Alchemist?" Draco's eyes grew huge. "But that's wonderful! I love Alchemy! Though," he added in a spirt of fairness, "it's fallen in disuse, lately." He grew pensive for a bit and then said: "Look, I'm quite good at Potions. I can help you with that if you teach me Alchemy. I always wanted to make a Philosopher's Stone."
Edward Elric beamed, then he noticed that this Draco boy was a hair shorter than himself and beamed so much more. "I can see this is the start of a splendid friendship," he said, shaking the other's hand with immense vigour.
"Of course!" Draco enthused, while wondering if his arm could take all the battering. "A punishing right and a grip worthy of giant. Welcome to Slytherin."
Giant! Edward, thought. He felt his eyes sting in unexpected affection for his - shorter - new friend. Giant! Abruptly he hugged his new friend and said: "Have you seen a suit of armour?"
There. Lame, but I make meself laugh, being terminally stupid. :P:P:P
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 05:45 pm (UTC)I like the story, for my own malicious reasons, though obviously the non-HP character is unknown to me.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 08:44 pm (UTC)DO see it, though it's 51 episodes long and not at all cheap. BUT... oh, but. I have acquired a cheap version which I suspect is pirated because it doesn't have the Japanese version which I want. So I've ordered another copy. Email me one viable address and I'll send it to you, though it's region 1 which means you need a computer or a multiregion DVD reader to see it. I mean, I have some reserves, having read the manga, but it's a jolly good series with fantastic characters and not too many plotholes because the 'verse is dementedly illogical. Which makes sense because having absurdly contrasting elements as a basis, you actually can't make plotholes. ;-)
Thanks for liking the silly spoof. HP bashing is rather satisfying, innit? It's fifth year because Edward, the Fullmetal Alchemist, is fifteen. He also has artificial limbs (right arm and left leg) that are made of steel - hence his nickname - and are attached to his nerve ends so he moves normally, which is why he wears white gloves, to hide his steel hand. Next post will clarify a bit better. Oh, and the suit of armour is his brother Alphonse, which is why it moves around. :-D
no subject
Date: 2008-09-21 04:19 pm (UTC)You are very generous. :D Let me just check if I can find it online first - no use for you to go through the trouble if there's a simpler way. :)
The series sounds interesting already. Dare I ask why his brother is a suit of armour...?
no subject
Date: 2008-09-23 05:39 am (UTC)I'm sure you can find anime downloads sites, but just let me know.
Ah, Alphonse. Fact is the brothers were studying Alchemy, then mom died and they tried to bring her back to life, a thing one can't do. Because of the principle of Equivalent Exchange that's the basis of Alchemy in Fullmetalverse, Al lost his entire body and Ed his leg. In a bid to save his brother, Ed managed to tie his spirit to a suit of armour which happened to be nearby and lost his right arm in the process. So Alphonse is actually an empty suit of armour acting like a person.
It's like reading the bastard and unholy child of Moebius and R. Rankin, but with the ehtical issues of a Pterry.
By the way, I managed to read two whole pages of Nation before bursting int undignified tears which allowed Sean to steal my book. GRRRRRRR!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-25 06:42 pm (UTC)And I do love that the magic system has solid rules and consequences - which I suspect is part of the appeal for you too. The best fantasy stories always have keep a leash on magic.
I've also finished Nation. It's really a beautiful story. So hunt Sean down and steal it back! =]
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 05:15 am (UTC)I think I've got everyone pretty IC, too. Draco would SO want a philosopher's stone.
Right, enough of the self-emcomium. Glad you cackled.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 02:09 pm (UTC)Sorry, got backlogged on lots of things, and now I'm SO caught up in your fic I don't have time to wax coherent on FMA, the Manga. Your fault! :P:P:P
no subject
Date: 2008-10-13 12:08 am (UTC)