flyingskull | Sorry, everyone, I was abducted...

... by well-meaning family and forced to go to nan's (Jamaica) to recuperate from what they called: "Your cretinous propention for overwork."

I'm all rested now and very sun-kissed and things and here I am.

So dear

baeraad asked me what a strong feminine woman would be like and I got to thinking about that. Fact is I don't know. I think there are two kind of differences in general between males and females of the species Homo Sapiens. One is physiological (different build of body, different hormonal fluxes and so on) and the other is social and cultural, the behavioural brainwashing we all get since birth.

The physiological differences are not immense or many, that's obvious, but they do colour our thoughts and emotions in part and, IMO, can't be dismissed as non-existent, BUT what really complicates things are the learnesd social responses so that it's now quite hard to understand when one's own attitudes and choices are truly one's own and when they are a reaction one way or another (embracing or rejecting) to social gender archetypes and stereotypes.

One woman may be strong because she embraces the cultural gender mores and lives a happy and fulfilled life; another may be strong because she rejects the cultural gender mores and attempts to re-create herself according to her views, thus living a happy and fulfilled life. I could go on for hours. Maybe being 'weak' for a woman could mean wanting to be a man - though, of course, not in the transgender sense - and have the virtues our culture attributes to males... but this sounds awfully like one of the worst clichés in history, after all.

So, yes, there's a bit of me who wants to say a 'strong' woman is one who accepts her physiology and lives as she thinks best, ignoring what other people tell her she should be, but the biggest part of me knows this is as fallacious as they come. Hell, I don't even know if I'm 'strong' or 'weak'. The only thing I can tentatively say is that probably I'm stronger now, after being physically weak and incapacitated for a long time, than I was before. Maybe all I am now is a little more aware of who I am. Maybe that's all the strength that's needed, what say?

Oh,

ingriam, I haven't forgotten you and your interesting fics. Not at all. And, as you write Alkanphel TEH PRETTY!!ELEVENTYONE!!!11, look at my pretty in icon. :-D

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First of all, sorry for the CAPSLOCK OF BITCH (TM). I was either A) not as rested as I thought I was or, B) not as able to sustain a discussion about gender-roles in a civilised manner as I thought I was. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Have heaps of admiration. :-D

What I was trying to say is this:

I hear a lot of women railing against their bodies and the femaleness of their bodies, but I never hear men railing thus. Alright, there may be one or two men tellling women they wished they were taller or thinner, but I've never heard a male whingeing about how irritating balls were or how they wished they wouldn't have erections (transgendered persons excluded, of course, that's a different thing).

This, I think, happens because our culture is based on the unspoken dogma that males have the better body and females the prettier one. This is what irritates me no end. I'm very annoyed by females who belittle their femaleness (I know, ugly neologism). Hence my capslocks.

And now I better stop before I lose my cool again, a thing which I'm far too prone to do, as you know well.

Oh, on a side note, I never - not even once - said that Martin can't write well rounded, different, interesting and 'strong' female characters (or male ones, at that). My problem - if one wants to call it a problem - with Martin is not how he writes characters, it's his penchant for verbosity. :P

You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

I think that's the nicest thing anyone could say to me. :D (*HUGS*)

And don't worry about it. There are topics that make my skin crawl, too. ^_^;

I hear a lot of women railing against their bodies and the femaleness of their bodies, but I never hear men railing thus.

Hmm. That's a very good point, actually. There's a whole bunch of drawbacks to being male. Why aren't men complaining? Men should complain. You're right, something's very wrong here. =]

I've read about this, come to think of it. Women in general are much more aware of all the fiddly bits they have that can go wrong. That's why men get blindsided by prostate problems and the likes - they are brought up to think they're invincible. It's stupid.

Okay. I'm with you. Sort of. At least I agree that there should be equal whining. =]

I think that's the nicest thing anyone could say to me.

'S nothing nice, 's just the bare truth, so there.

I knew you would see the light once I started to type facts instead of rants.

But still...

Women in general are much more aware of all the fiddly bits they have that can go wrong

Erm... no. They are generally hammered at by TV and papers and radio and the netz with ZOMG! CHECK THAT BREAST CANCER THINGY! ZOMG! DISMENORRHEA MAY BE A SYMPTOM OF DIRE THINGS! GO CHECK THAT THAR OVERIES! etc etc

Do I see a ZOMG! GO CHECK THOSE BALLS! CANCER! GO CHECK THAT PROSTATE! etc? Nope, all I see is 'enlarge your penis make your girlfriend happy', mostly in my mailbox which is funny. Also, that kind of spam is not only offensive - and upsetting if you're 12 (oh alright, males. 12, 20, 40, 50... :P) - to males, it's highly offensive to females as well. We're not ALL size-whores.

But menstruation is not a 'fiddly bit' that goes wrong, my dear friend. Menstruation is a 'fiddly bit' that works right. Just saying, y'know? Nothing to see here. ;)

'S nothing nice, 's just the bare truth, so there.

But it was very nice of you to notice. ;)

Do I see a ZOMG! GO CHECK THOSE BALLS! CANCER! GO CHECK THAT PROSTATE! etc?

No, and that's my point. We should see those things, but we aren't. Because men think they're strong. They're not. They're breakable things in a hostile universe. So are women, but at least they're aware of it. =]

I should here point out that I'm completely paranoid about my health and tends to develop all sorts of phantom illnesses that mysteriously fades away once I've had a doctor look at them and proclaim them non-existant... ^_^; My idea about what is a reasonable level of concern for one's health might be somewhat skewed, therefore.

Nope, all I see is 'enlarge your penis make your girlfriend happy', mostly in my mailbox which is funny.

Yeah, those are deeply annoying. Women are under a lot more pressure to look good than men are, but there is one anathomical detail that must be in order or else nothing else about us matters. (*winces*)

We're not ALL size-whores.

I'm happy to hear that. It's my only hope, really. =]

But menstruation is not a 'fiddly bit' that goes wrong, my dear friend.

I know, and I wasn't talking about that. :)

Hehehe! You see? We DO agree on basics. It's actually nice that we differ in details, makes life spicier.

Sorry for the quick-and-run but am at work.

HUGZ

Sorry, everyone, I was abducted...

Apologies and admiration

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